You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
