There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
