idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
