Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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