A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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