Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
