We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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