Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
