I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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