She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
