He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize