she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize