Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
