So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
are you so shy because you have an std?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
soo... how was my night?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize