none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
