All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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