she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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