I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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