party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You left your phone here
Wait...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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