You're my little dorito
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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