yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
