i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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