whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
