You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
