she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
