So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
