Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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