You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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