Porn is love you can see.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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