Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love having hate sex.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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