So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
