Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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