All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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