I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
