I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
