after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Houston, we have a blender
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
