i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
