so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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