last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Randomize
