Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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