How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
