Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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