I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
