Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
