i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
