I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
