dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
