someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
