Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
