Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
