you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
