Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
