ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
