Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My penis needs a shock collar
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
