Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
