What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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