clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
