Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
