one two three fourrrrnication!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
