Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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