You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
