listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You are a genius and a whore.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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