I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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